i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
