PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
