Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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