Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
