our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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