Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
