i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
