how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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