so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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