i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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