I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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