I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
