Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
