I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
