garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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