Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
