Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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