If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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