We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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