Your face is a jimmy john
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
