She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
