at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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