Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
