I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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