Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
