its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
