he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
