We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
