I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
