Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
