Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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