yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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