We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
