The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
