I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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