I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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