i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize