I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
