bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
