do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she smelled like a LAN party
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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