called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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