At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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