the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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