Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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