He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
