she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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