So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
