pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize