I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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