Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
