Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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