In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
