u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
