It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
