That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
