if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do vagina's smell?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
