I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
