Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
