Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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