i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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