Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
