I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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