I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
