You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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