I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So vagazzling was a success
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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