i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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