You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
